"I must help others"

How to Get Along with Me

• Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
  
• Share fun times with me.
  
• Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus
  on yours.
  
• Let me know that I am important and special to you.
  
• Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
  

• Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
  
• Reassure me often that you love me.
  
• Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

• being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
  
• knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
  
• being generous, caring, and warm
  
• being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
  
• being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

• not being able to say no
  
• having low self-esteem
  
• feeling drained from overdoing for others
  
• not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
  
• criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
  
• being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tune in to
  them
  
• working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

• are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
  
• try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
  
• are outwardly compliant
  
• are popular or try to be popular with other children
  
• act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
  
• are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted TWOs), or quiet and shy (the more introverted TWOs)

• are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm
  and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
  
• are often playful with their children
  
• wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
  
• can become fiercely protective